Porn star suicide

I have a little something to say. There’s been a lot of talk in the industry recently about gay porn stars killing themselves. The industry does seem to have a run of bad luck lately, with Mackenzie Masters committing suicide a few months ago and now Ron Medusa doing the same thing just last week.

I didn’t know either of these guys personally other than watching one or two of their films, but from all accounts, they were solid guys. A couple of the newspapers ran an article with the speculation (they had no real proof) that these men killed themselves because they were in porn and felt cheap, used, and ashamed. I call bullshit.

There’s a bit of a misconception out there that we become porn stars because we’re forced into it, or because we had a bad childhood and ran away from home and this is all the work we could do. It propagates the rumour that we are all ‘victims’, lured by a moustache twirling , dirty minded producer into fucking people for a living because we are said ‘victim.’ It’s not true. Haven’t you all seen ‘Boogie Nights’? Dirk Diggler got his acting break because he had a huge cock and liked to use it. And because some dirty porn producer liked the look of it, yes, because he could see the dollar signs. Dirk wasn’t forced into anything. He wanted to fuck people on camera. He wanted to be a star.

My start in porn when I was just seventeen was because I met this guy who told me I could make some easy money fucking guys for a living. I was working two jobs at the time, one in a restaurant at night waiting tables and a day job in a furniture store, moving stuff around for window dressing. Neither paid well, I was living at home with parents who were just your average earners, trying to make ends meet, and I wanted more. I enjoy sex. I did it a lot so it makes sense to make money out of doing something I enjoy. I was lucky that I have the looks and the studios like that look.

I don’t regret that decision. I have fun; I make a shitload of money, I get to wear fancy suits and clothes and go to black tie dinners. I have fans who scream when they see me, and guys who’ll give me anything to let me fuck them. Or let them fuck me. Yes, that makes me a bit of a slut. But I don’t give a rat’s arse because I want to do it. It’s my choice. Porn stars are people too. We have hang ups, we suffer depression, we get a run of bad luck, we feel unloved and sad. Some of us will kill ourselves, just like any other category of profession. Lawyers, stockbrokers, secretaries and CEO’s.

No one will really know why Mackenzie or Ron chose to kill themselves. Mental health is a funny thing and your mind can sometimes be a scary place. There’s constant pressure on gay porn stars to be beautiful, sexy, toned, ripped and the pressures can break you if you let them. There’s no difference to being a male model, or a ballet dancer, or an athlete-these people all face the same challenges. Sometimes these challenges can break you until you can’t take it anymore. Fact.

So to assume someone kills himself because he’s in porn and starts to regret his life because its dirty and tainted – unless you know the facts don’t go spewing your crazy notions out there in public. That may well be the case for some -but definitely not for everyone. So go out there, live your life the way you want and -Get It On.

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